Is it a boy or a girl?
I have a few friends and family members who are currently expecting a child, which has brought this question into conversations frequently. Folks are excited to be expanding their families and the sex of the child is part of that anticipation. I recognize the value of sharing that enthusiasm with your loved ones and preparing for the baby to come into our world. And I have definitely enjoyed trying to guess one way or the other. But I've noticed that people are not always interested in knowing simply if it will be male or female. They want to determine if the baby will play with Barbie dolls or toy soldiers, will prefer pink or blue, will wear a bow or a baseball cap. And it has got me thinking; before we even leave the womb, our society has already predetermined rigid gender roles to which we are expected to conform.
In recent years, the boy-or-girl curiosity has migrated from private groups of close friends and families to the board rooms of companies interested in capitalizing on the potential profits of "gender-reveal" products and parties. I find that concept to be intrusive and that title to be misleading. If we're talking male vs female, it should be called a sex-reveal party. The World Health Organization defines sex as the biological and physiological characteristics that define men and women, while it defines gender as the socially constructed roles, behaviors, activities, and attributes that a given society considers appropriate for men and women. (And this doesn't even scratch the surface of the very real issue of transgender identity, and respecting one's self-identity, which can't be prescribed at birth!)
I think that becoming a parent is a calling - a sacred act. If I become a father some day I would strive to provide an environment where my kid can grow and discover herself or himself without any societal pressure. Life would be so dull if we all fit squarely into category x or y. We should celebrate diversity and uniqueness, especially as we witness the incredible process of children coming into their personalities. While I know it is important to acknowledge the progress we have made with gender roles over the years, I believe that as progressive Christians, we must continue to help usher along this movement.
Respectfully,
Sean Patrick Coady
Associate Director